Please Stop Calling Kids Gifted

I was a gifted child. I don’t say that to brag or make it seem like I peaked when I was seven, but it is simply a fact of my childhood. I was advanced across the board from the first day of kindergarten.

I was the one who the teacher sat by kids who wouldn’t behave to “keep an eye on them.” I was the one who was sent to older classrooms for reading groups because I was several levels ahead. And so, I became the one who felt like getting anything below an A on any assignment, quiz, or test was the end of the world.

Me at my fourth-grade spelling bee.

As a result, I became a teacher’s pet. I often reflect on one situation where my third-grade teacher told me to be quiet in front of the class. I sat at my desk and silently cried for the next 30 minutes. When you’re put on a pedestal from the age of five and constantly told how you’re a “role model” or “such a good kid,” being anything but perfect feels perfectly unacceptable.

When you tell kids they’re advanced from the day they start school, there is no option for them except to excel. Labeling kids as “gifted” leads these children to feel as though they constantly need to be ahead of the curve. On the other hand, this system also leads the kids who are excluded from this coveted “gifted” category to feel as though they are not good enough either.

I am a perfectionist to my core and put 110% into everything I do. Sometimes I wonder how much of that came from nature versus nurture.

It wasn’t until college that I truly began believing that there are different types of intelligence. Just because I had to work harder than my STEM-minded friends in calculus and chemistry did not mean I was less intelligent than them. Being raised on an academic pedestal made it difficult to realize that not being the best in every single class did not mean I was dumb.

In a largely STEM-focused world, it was also a tough pill to swallow that I excelled in the humanities. Creativity and writing were not often applauded as top valuable skills in school. So, I pushed myself to my limits in math and science, ultimately burning myself out on the topics.

All this is to say that separating kids into categories hurts the kids on both ends. Rather, school systems should focus on instilling confidence in kids based on their strengths, thus building up their self-esteem so they are more motivated to improve upon their weaknesses.

You never know what future star could be getting burnt out in a third-grade classroom right now.

Sincerely, a survivor of gifted kid burnout.

You heard it here first,

Kylie